Oh, you mean I am the problem? Yup. Once again.
This week, in particular the last two days, I have ping-ponged between bold confidence and debilitating insecurity. I have jumped from ecstatic hope to paralyzing fear.
What sparked this? Well … nada. Nothing has changed. I was merely given a little encouragement from a surprising someone.
It’s so silly. It wasn’t even a kudos, really. Just a simple pat on the back and a “keep at it” kinda talk, and yet here I am secretly rejoicing over my great fortune. What fortune, you ask? There isn’t one! Realizing this my emotions catapult in the other direction, wondering if I’m worthy, if I truly have what it takes. I’m afraid to grasp the hope offered lest I disappoint. I fear it’s only a matter of time before I’m proven a hack. Who do I think I am anyway?
Do you see my problem?
All this hubbub, the nauseating instability of emotions stems from one cause: misplaced focus.
(Haven’t we been here before? Yup. It’s one of my perpetual lessons.)
Once again my focus drifted from the One who holds me to simply … me. I’ve evaluated myself rather than the One who is bigger than me and all my extravagant faults. I’ve zeroed in on my hopes and dreams and possible abilities rather than sitting still at the feet of my Savior, remembering He already knows it all and will orchestrate it perfectly for my good. That doesn’t mean everything will work out according to my plans. My plans are flawed. His plans, however, exceed imagination and nothing can thwart them.
I choose now to stop thinking about all that has me flustered. I choose to focus instead on the One who already has it all figured out.
Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
– Isaiah 46:4 (NIV)
Breathe deep, Tanya.
I need not carry myself. I need not sustain any momentum. He is He, today and tomorrow and into my gray-haired days … and even beyond that. Oh, I’m so grateful! For what more could I ask?
Your Turn: What are your favorite verses to realign your focus?